Distinctly Montana Magazine

55 w w w. d i s t i n c t l y m o n t a n a . c o m beaches of Normandy or Iwo Jima on stomachs full of kidneys, pancreas, tripe, or tongue. This was one bullet, metaphorically speaking, that we could take for them. At least, the article some- what apologetically maintained, such cheap cuts "are not only rich in nutritive value but, when properly prepared, are among the tastiest dishes known." It fills me with a deep sadness, the thought of those poor men dying in the surf at Omaha and Utah Beach without a final taste of deviled kidneys, liver and onions, or, God help us, foie gras. Well, I'm a patriot, so for the benefit of you, the reader, and for the amusement of the magazine's staff, I'm going to eat a bunch of guts that I purchased at a certain long-standing and well-re- garded Butte butcher shop. Whatever follows, I assure you it's not their fault. Sweetbreads, I'm told, are the place to start. The pancreas or thymus of young beef, these rare morsels are the organ meat recommended to the skeptic. If the idea of haute cuisine appeals to you, then consider that the sweetbreads are prized in the best kitchens of Europe, where it is often served with mushrooms, or in a cream sauce. But since common fare interests me more, I'm heartened to learn that supposedly they have a consistency and flavor similar to chicken nuggets. Chicken nuggets are, incidentally, one of those relatively recent innovations in food of which I am very fond. Well, reader, they sure don't look like chicken nuggets. No, they look like some sort of fleshy sac out of which alien crabs burst to woo your face. I read that you should soak sweetbreads in something to draw off impurities. So I bought a big jug of buttermilk, Bulgarian style. This made a certain amount of sense to me, because why shouldn't you soak something gross in something else that is also gross? Then, after a half hour or so, I did my best to follow the instructions I found online: "Remove any membrane and white globules of suet and then tear it into bite-sized chunks along the naturally occurring folds." Jiminy Christmas, I thought. Did I have to be a surgeon to cook this stuff? The next step was to dredge them in flour and then saute them in a pan, but I didn't know how to do that, so instead I dropped them on the floor and threw them in a pan with some "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Did I mention I'm not a very good cook? What I ended with looked less like chicken nuggets than a pile of monkey gonads. For a moment, I imagined them being offered to Indiana Jones on a plate, maybe with some snakes. But what did they taste like? Reader, they tasted like chick- en nuggets. Even as I write, I am tempted to add something like "they taste, that is, like chicken nuggets if chicken nuggets were made of boogers." My dogs loved them! Next were kidneys. www.thegrabowhotel.com 204 EAST CALLENDER STREET • LIVINGSTON, MONTANA • 59047 The Original RAIL ENTRANCE TO THE FIRST NATIONAL PARK IN THE WORLD, Yellowstone. B E S T O F M O N TA N A B M D I S T I N C T L Y M O N T A N A ' S 2023 Nominate Us! TRAVEL & ADVENTURE MONTANA ZIPLINE A D V E N T U R E S A N A C O N D A , M T MONTANA'S DESTINATION ANACONDA, MT 406.560.3115 montanazip.com PREMIERE ZIPLINE VOTE FOR US! TRAVEL & ADVENTURE 7 LINES WITH OVER 9,300 FEET OF ZIPLINE of B E S T M O N TA N A A S V O T E D B Y R E A D E R S O F 2023 W I N N E R !

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