Distinctly Montana Magazine

D I S T I N C T L Y M O N T A N A M A G A Z I N E • F A L L 2 0 2 1 72 Besides, I figured the real enemy was the jeweler who would offer a little kid a measly $20 (although it has to be admitted that $20 went a lot farther back then) for that many yogos. So I decided to go have a talk with him. The jeweler, whose name I will hold back to protect the innocent, listened to me explain the situation. Then he spoke. "Your little brother comes in with all these sapphires, most of them no bigger than a speck, and I figure I could sell them for watches, but they aren't worth much otherwise, so I asked him what he wanted for it, and he thinks a moment and says, 'twenty bucks,' so I got a bill out of the register and said we had a deal. I don't know what else to tell you." "But you know they were worth more than that!" I protested. "That's called making a profit, kid. You didn't want your brother stealing them, you should have hidden them." "I did hide them!" "Not well enough." It did occur to me that he had a point. I had hidden them behind the good silverware with the notion of protecting them from invading thieves, but I had never considered that the breach could come from within. But it didn't make me feel any better. "Ok," I reasoned. "How about you just give me what it's worth? We'll call it even." "Haha," he said. He was still saying "haha" when he opened the front door and ushered me outside. I'd like to think he spent the rest of his days looking over his shoulder in case I'd finally decided to exact my pound of flesh, but it's more likely that he became a Congressman and enjoyed great success. That was more than fifty years ago, but over the decades, I've still thought about those purloined yogos. They've become a sort of lynch pin in my personal mythology, a piece around which the rest rotates. The more time passes, the bigger the lost fortune. At this point, I'm fairly certain I could have bought the Taj Mahal for what all that silver and sapphire was worth. Maybe even afford a house in Bozeman! But instead of steak and whiskey, I'm having hamburgers and Rolling Rock. It could definitely be worse, but still. So every now and then I need to remind Neal how he ru- ined my whole life. To that end, I will sometimes call him at about 11 PM, just when I know he's about to go to bed. The phone rings, and then I hear him pick up and say, "hello?" And then I say, "Neal, I want you to know I love you. You're a great brother, and as time goes on I know that fam- ily is the most important thing of all." "Thanks, bro," he always says, knowing what's coming from habit. "But I also want you to know that you're a moron and that I might be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company if it weren't for you, and I'd probably own three yachts and four RVs if you hadn't ruined everything." "Love you too, Gary, sorry again about the damn yogos," he usually says. And hangs up. WALL OF BUGS • CRYSTALS • SAPPHIRE JEWELRY MONTANA FOSSILS • GOLD PANS • ECLECTIC GIFTS 25 North Willson Avenue (406) 586-3451 EarthsTreasuresMT.com EARTH'S TREASURES VISIT EST. 1989 DOWNTOWN BOZEMAN'S FOSSIL AND MINERAL MUSEUM GALLERY ONE OF A KIND IS WHAT WE DO BEST EXPERIENCE Enter our contest to win a genuine Earth's Treasure at distinctlymontana.com/earth THE MORE TIME PASSES, THE BIGGER THE LOST FORTUNE. AT THIS POINT, I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN I COULD HAVE BOUGHT THE TAJ MAHAL OR MAYBE EVEN AFFORD A HOUSE IN BOZEMAN!

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