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sun. Until they don't flop or gasp anymore.
Piles of dead fish. Covered in slime. In the
hot sun.
Did I mention that these are carp?
If you're not familiar with this particular
species, then you should know that carp
are the ugliest, dirtiest, smelliest, grossest
fish on the planet. And that's when they're
alive. Imagine a full boatload of disgust-
ing, bloody, reeking dead carp. ere are no
words.
Which is how I found myself out of the
boat, waist-deep in the muck, wading away
from the boat. Now you would think that a
cute girl in a bikini would have no problem
catching the eye of a hunky man. at such
a man would never mistake such a bathing
beauty for something as utterly nauseating
as a carp. at there is no possible way her
lithesome foot feeling its way through the
greasy mud oozing through her toes could
be misperceived as an escaping fish. Yes,
even the emergency room doctor — who's
seen everything — found it hard to believe.
This excerpt is from
Confessions of a Camo
Queen: Living with an Outdoorsman,
published
by Farcountry Press, 2015.
You pull up in the
foulest-smelling, swampiest,
muckiest little cove.
Next, everyone grabs
a bow, nocks an arrow,
and starts shooting at
anything that moves.
