Distinctly Montana Magazine

22 D I S T I N C T LY M O N TA N A M A G A Z I N E • W I N T E R 2 0 2 5 - 2 0 2 6 L ONGTIME READERS OF MY HUMOR COLUMN may recall that one of my ambitions is to own another RV one day. I've had a couple in the past, which I regard with the same wistful melancholy usually reserved for ex-sweethearts and pets no lon- ger present. There was the old 1987 Pace Arrow in whose spacious cabin we watched many a leisurely mile roll by. We didn't get it in 1987, you understand. By the time we got her, she was herself old enough to rent a car. It got four to five miles to the gallon, and made a noise something like a dyspeptic walrus trying to swim through Elmer's glue as it struggled to climb mountain roads. As it struggled, as a matter of fact, to make any grade that wasn't totally flat. Come to think of it, it would go downhill, but only if you pushed it. Eventually, we sold the Pace Arrow to some poor sucker, which enabled us, in those more comfortable economic times, to get a Monaco Signature Series. I feel sorry for you, dear reader, de- nied the sight of a younger, less broke rancher sailing down the blacktop in his Mo- naco Signature Series. It was a big, handsome rig, 42 feet of diesel-pushing power. But this was no mere brute. No, this was a triumph of aesthetics, with an elegant color fade and strong, sporting stripe that ran down the length of its handsome bulk like a fin on a shark. How many drivers saw that gorgeous and, let's come out and say it, girthy stripe pass them on the interstate like a bolt out of the blue? Sure, it was a little city-unfriendly, but it was like a magic car- pet on the super slab, carrying us in perfect comfort to our kids' soccer matches, rickety old hot springs, and hole-in-the-wall steakhouses. And the best part was that, whenever we wanted, we could pull over—whether on some dusty byway, or even in the middle of the interstate at peak traffic—and take a nap. OLD BROKE RANCHER BY GARY SHELTON by GARY SHELTON Pavement Pavement incess incess The The

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