Distinctly Montana Magazine
Issue link: https://digital.distinctlymontana.com/i/1539241
20 D I S T I N C T LY M O N TA N A M A G A Z I N E • FA L L 2 0 2 5 pie, and I can't remember a time when that ever wasn't the case, even though there is evidence in the form of photographs and diary entries. Still, the chores have to be done, so this morning I set out to feed the cows with pockets mashed full of tissues. I honked into fist- fuls of Kleenexes like a lovelorn goose. The cattle, startled, tried their best to avoid me. As have, frankly, the rest of my family, who I notice have sped off to school and work with special relish this week. But still, there's the matter of what to write about this issue. I have as many as four to five devoted readers who will be very disap- pointed if they open up the Fall issue and find it missing the Old Broke Rancher's incisive, uh... commentary on... uh... which is to say to listen to the Old Broke Rancher complain about... uh... The Old Broke Rancher on ketchup? The Old Broke Rancher on armchairs versus couches? The Old Broke Rancher (I'm looking around the room now, like the end of The Usual Suspects, try- ing to find anything to make into a story) on pillows, on cuckoo clocks. The Old Broke Rancher investigates sneezing. The Old Broke Rancher takes a nap? The Old Broke Rancher wishes he had the energy to make soup. Instead, for lunch I had two slices of Velveeta and the last third of a can of golden sweet corn, whole kernel. For dinner, there's a several-year-old bag of instant pancake batter in the back of the pantry that I'm planning to take to the griddle, open, sigh, and then close and put back. I really need to come up with ideas, I remind myself, so what I do is I open up my phone and scroll for subjects. The usual suspects are all there: the nasty mire of politics, the whirling maelstrom of the news. Things, as it turned out, had gotten even worse than the last time I looked, ten minutes ago. Before long, I am lining up rows and rows of little pixelated farm animals in a cell phone BEST AUDIOLOGIST BEST RUR AL CLINIC/ HOSPITAL 621 3rd Street South Glasgow, Montana (406) 228-3500 .fmdh.org BEST EMS EDUCATION BEST URGENT CARE Caring for What Matters Most I honkedINTO FISTFULS OF KLEENEXES LIKE A LOVELORN GOOSE.