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D I S T I N C T LY M O N TA N A M A G A Z I N E
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W I N T E R 2 0 2 4 - 2 5
just about anything you want. For hours, I wandered through the
website. Would my beloved wife like a love note from one of the
cast of The Sopranos? Northern Exposure's Barry Corbin? And
who are all of these people labeled "content creators?"
Then an idea struck me which caused my trucker hat to start
spinning like a helicopter propeller. What did she say she want-
ed, after all? For once in my life, I should listen to her. For once
in my life, I should try to get her exactly what she wanted.
Trembling, I typed the magic words into the search bar: George
Clooney.
The morning of my wife's birthday, I woke her up with a kiss
and directed her attention to a laptop that I'd set up next to her
in bed, along with a tray on which a steaming mug of coffee and
a sweet roll lay waiting.
"What, you want me to watch a video?"
"Yes, dear. Just wait a second."
"Okay, I'm waiting."
"Damn it, hold on, don't I just click the... Ah hell, I closed it.
Hold on, now how do I... there!"
The screen flickered to life, and right there in front of her, as
my wife watched groggily, was...
Singer/songwriter Dan Tyminski. Mr. Tyminski fiddled with
his camera for a moment and then began to speak.
"Leslie, this is Dan. I just wanted to let you know that,"—now
looking down at something he had written just out of frame—
"your husband loves you very much and wishes you a happy
birthday. He also congratulates you, uh, on turning 29 for the
25th time! Haha. Well, okay, I hope your big day is really great,
just really happy and healthy, and that you have all your loved
ones around you, like Gary here, and your kids. Okay, I guess I'd
better get started."
Singing now, he proceeded: "Swing looooowwwww, sweet
chaaaaariot..."
My wife looked up from the laptop screen, quizzical.
"Okay, so he's not George Clooney. But he did do Clooney's
singing voice in O Brother Where Art Thou, and I think you liked
that movie, right?"
She cocked her head, sighed, and then nodded. "Yes, Gary, I
thought it was a pretty good movie, I guess."
VICTORY! I pumped my fist in the air, elated. I'd done it again.
The words "husband of the year" flitted, unbidden, through the
room.
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