Distinctly Montana Magazine

63 w w w. d i s t i n c t l y m o n t a n a . c o m I looked at it again and raised an eyebrow. I returned to my whiskey, finishing off the shot and setting it down on the counter before gesturing to the glass in a manner that suggested I'd like it topped off. He poured another, and I took a sip of that one before returning to the glass of tepid water in front of me. "Yup," I said. "I'm going to drink it alright." Then, with a turn of the wrist, I admitted a gulp of the warm, fetid liquid into my gullet. My eyes crossed like I'd taken a shot of Everclear. I made a noise like a barking dog, and clutched at my throat. I have never, before, or since, tasted water quite that awful. It savored of eau de Sulphur, alkali, minerals, and, finally, the delicate taste and smell of a malfunctioning septic tank. "Goddamn," I sputtered after spitting most of it onto the bar's dirt floor. The part I'd swallowed, unfortunately, was sliding viscously down into my stomach. I rose off of my barstool, righ- teously indignant as I clapped him with the evil eye. As my eyes goggled and I exploded into a coughing fit, he shook his head and kept talking. "You were dead set on it, I couldn't have stopped it if I tried." he said. "If you'd have come a day or two earlier I'd have had some bottled water, but damned if I didn't run out after a Califor- nian feller and his girlfriend stopped through on his way to Port- land and bought them all. As for this stuff, you sure can't drink it, can't hardly even do laundry in it, but it works well enough to flush the toilet though, and just barely at that. But bottom line, though is it will ruin whiskey. I told you not to drink it, son, but you just wouldn't listen to reason. Well, what have you got to say for yourself?" "Damn! Why the hell'd you let me drink that," I asked, indignant. Then I collected my things, pushed out of the door, got on my Harley, and sped away with that indescribable taste still linger- ing in my mouth. I imagine the bartender shook his head and returned to pol- ishing that same glass, glad to pretend no longer that he suf- fered fools—like me—gladly. BE CARE AWARE. Explore more at BozemanHealth.org Know when and where to go when you need care. PRIMARY CARE Your first stop should always be your primary care provider. If your provider is unable to see you, they will help guide you when and where to go to get the care you need. B2 CARES Life is unpredictable. When you are unable to be seen by your primary care provider, or if you don't have a primary care provider, see one of our B2 Care locations. EMERGENCY CARE For any injuries or illnesses that are serious or life threatening, head straight to the Emergency room. Open 24/7, 365 days a year. RIGHT CARE, RIGHT TIME, RIGHT PLACE.

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