Distinctly Montana Magazine

DISTINCTLY MONTANA MAGAZINE • WINTER 2022-23 26 to provide them with the brotherhood they need to help them focus on their emotional and psychological well-being as well as a reconnection with others—but with themselves. "Most of what we do is in and around the Big Sky area," Mc- Cain says. "We start out with high-adrenaline activities at the beginning, then work into more of the healing aspects later. We have to burn that candle down." Activities vary depending on the season. Some task forces spend the day tearing down the mountain on skis, others em- bark on challenging hikes that end with a steak dinner on a 10,000-foot-high ridge, some groups take off on side-by-side explorations, and others head downriver on whitewater rafting adventures—just to name a few. Fly-fishing with expert guides, deep chats around the camp- fire, and slowing down to appreciate the stunning scenery sur- rounding them also provide opportunities for decompression, reflection, and openness with one another. "Sometimes it's sitting around the campfire asking 'how you doing with the guy in the mirror?'" Vaughan says. "In our back- ground and culture, that is almost looked down upon because you have to be the macho man and the alpha male and show no weak- ness–but how do you deal with that after you come home?" Hearing about how others have handled those transitions and the issues they encountered not only helped him, but has also enabled him to serve as a mentor to the next generation of Special Ops servicemembers who are going through their own struggles. "I realized I don't have to be the biggest and the fastest and the strongest," Vaughan says. "Big Sky Bravery is bigger than me. It is a family and it is special and it means so much to so many people… I loved it." Smith says she went into her task force experience hoping for rest and relaxation, but that she came out with a trusted network of lifelong friends whom she knows she can always reach out to. "We talked about things that people generally don't want to talk about," she recalls. "You walk away remembering you do have people to your left and right and this is a shared experience." "There is a lot of guilt about being in the military and trauma of how that impacts your relationships," she adds. "This helped reaffirm that there are men and women out there who respect what I do and it gives me even more confidence. This is my ca- reer and I love it and I am doing the right thing." Soderholm had never been to Montana prior to attending his first task force in 2018. Now he comes back four to six times ev- ery year to serve as a Big Sky Bravery volunteer or to visit friends he's made along the way. He says the most pivotal experience he had during his first task force occurred as he was hiking down a mountainside with McCain one day as the morning sun broke over a distant ridge- line, bathing them in a palette of warm gold and crimson. "A counselor had asked me about three years before when the last time was that I felt joy, and she was a bit taken aback be- cause I didn't know what to say or how to even begin to answer that," Soderholm says. "But that day with Josh—here I am, com- ing down the mountain into the sunrise, and I realized: This is joy. Big Sky Bravery got me to recognize and feel joy again." SUPPORTING THE MISSION The average Special Ops servicemember who participates in a Big Sky Bravery task force is just 35 years old and has been on 14 combat deployments. Eighty-five percent of them have suffered at least one traumatic brain injury. The organization had 12 task forces in 2020. That number jumped up to 22 groups in 2022, and they're planning for 26 more in 2023. Big Sky Bravery has also begun operating task forces for female Special Ops servicemembers, as well as an identical program for the spouses of our nation's elite warriors. "We've been scaling pretty dramatically," McCain says. "But Americans need to be a hell of a lot more proactive for our na- "BIG SKY BRAVERY IS BIGGER THAN ME. IT IS A FAMILY AND IT IS SPECIAL AND IT MEANS SO MUCH TO SO MANY PEOPLE… I LOVED IT." NATE HILL OF NIVEUS PRODUCTIONS

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