Distinctly Montana Magazine

Distinctly Montana Summer 2020

Distinctly Montana Magazine

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w w w . d i s t i n c t l y m o n t a n a . c o m 39 "We stayed in July and it SNOWED on our way up. I'm a Summer person not a winter one. We could see our breath in the tent so asked for a heater...On our way to breakfast the water in the trofts [sic] was fro- zen...My husband and I are over 6 foot tall and we're [sic] promised a queen bed witch [sic] they have in one of the tents but we didn't stay in that tent. We got the full size bed where our feet hung off in the cold tent! The view was amazing if you can stand the smell of 20 horses next to your car." Ew, the smell of horses. What did she think a dude ranch was, a rustic collection of Jeff Spicolis? No matter the inherent beauty of the attraction or its surround- ings, someone will come away grumbling. "William Clark, the Original Bart Simpson" was the title of one dismissal of Pompey's Pillar. How about Medicine Rocks State Park, in southeast Montana? "No clear trails, no ranger on duty, no water, no trash, one vault toilet shared by the entire park, no fires, no maps except an information board at the entrance, and it cost $28 as an out of state camper." Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? The Upper Missouri River Breaks National Monument ("So many mosquitoes!"), Painted Rocks Reservoir ("The campground host is a Nazi!"), Prairie Dog Town near Greycliff ("Kiddies may see a cute critter get shot.")—all victims of one-star reviews. It seems almost every attraction, event, museum, or geological oddity in Montana gets at least one scathing review from someone who might be having a bad day, or (more likely) didn't do their homework before traveling to the spot. For me, online research is second nature. For instance, I already knew that, at five-and-a-half feet tall, I'd have little trouble squeezing through the fissures and openings of the Lewis and Clark Caverns, unlike this poor bastard: "As a person of height and weight (6' 5" and over 300 lbs) I had a very negative experience in these caverns. I hit my head over 50 times and, for days later, still have a very sore head with headaches. Hopefully, this helps someone from not experiencing the headaches I have today." When touring around Montana, a bit of research can help you avoid headaches, both figurative and literal, and perhaps your experi- ence will result in a five-star review. BITTERROOT VALLEY Distinctive Craftsman Cottages in a 55+ Pocket Neighborhood Planned Community riversidecrossingcoop@gmail.com • 406.282.4776 • www.riversidecrossing.org BITTERROOT VALLEY Dis nc ve Cra�sman Co ages in a 55+ Pocket Neighborhood Planned Community "Downsize Beautifully" www.riversidecrossing.org riversidecrossingcoop@gmail.com 406-282-4776 Downsize Beautifully BITTERROOT VALLEY Dis nc ve Cra�sman Co ages in a 55+ Pocket Neighborhood Planned Community "Downsize Beautifully" www.riversidecrossing.org riversidecrossingcoop@gmail.com 406-282-4776

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